What Comments Say About Us

 

An article was posted about a woman’s experience with discovering a friend’s betrayal. She expressed feelings of hurt and anger and described things she has done since in trying to resolve the issue for her own peace of mind.

And the comments people left were simply awful. They were categorically disproportionate in negative criticism relative to what the content actually reads.

One person commented (and, this, BTW, was a more moderate comment):

Why on earth would you apologize to her? And even try to continue to be friends? She only is friends with you so she can feel better about herself and make you look foolish on her blog. You are being used. You are stupid. Move on and forget about her. You seem pretty pathetic writing this story. Are you that desperate for friends you need to keep going back for more abuse?

Let’s say, for the sake of argument, that someone were desperate for a friend. And I am in no way suggesting that this is true in the author’s case because it doesn’t read that way to me, but just to expound upon this point that she is stupid because she is being “used”. thereby she must be “that desperate for friends”.
Conceding this point, hypothetically, that such desperation exists:

Does the commentor believe that this desperation, in fact, *any* human desperation should be responded to with hostility and derision?

I’m curious because it seems comments are made that I, personally, would reconsider if I recognized my comments implied something about me that was, ironically, perhaps, the better candidate for ridicule.

And my response, here, is not directed solely to this one comment, but to the practice in general of responding to human expressions of distress, pain, confusion and upset with sanctimonious condemnations and ignorant dismissals.

We all have opinions about what we observe and read. We also have discernment to choose if and when and how we communicate an opinion.

And the first question we must ask before making the effort (because it does require some effort) is why? why is the payoff from my letting others know this opinion something I will spend my limited time and resources on? People are essentially frugal with their efforts and apply them where they get the largest return on investment.

So, if we also maintain that the purpose of these hostile and mean spirited remarks are not altruistic in nature, and we agree that they neither inform nor clarify for the purpose of bettering the target audience, then we might safely assume they are meant as they seem: as a verbal assault, that intends to hurt, no matter small. It’s the intent that is important.

So, to those of you who choose at the moment of discernment that you are someone who places a high value on your being able to hurt someone who reveals what you find to be weak, desperate and essentially *vulnerable*, you are known by your words.

We all know someone who enjoys kicking others when they are already on the ground. It is probably awkward to realize that our comments reveal us to be that someone.

 

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Knock it off

1. Do yourself a kindness and stop believing what you know others think about you. If they haven't expressed what they are thinking, we cannot presume to know, cannot control it even if we did know, and, more importantly, it's none of our business what someone else is thinking unless it requires something of us, directly. So, even if someone were to think you "weird", which may or may not actually be true, that person owns it and is responsible for what they do with it. You could possibly influence what someone thinks in order to change it, but if you did it would only be through some accident of chance. Human thinking is a complex process of equally complex variables. It requires considerable effort to understand and manage our own thoughts, let alone concern ourselves with what is being thought that we have absolutely no means to access directly. 

2. Who you are is not defined by what anyone thinks, even what you, yourself, think. Who you are is independent of whatever thought exists about you. And do you know why? It's because a thought can be wrong. Who you are is not subject to evaluation. It is an inerrant fact. Everything thought about who you are, however, can be completely wrong. And nothing changes the truth of it. In fact, I think just a fraction of what human beings think about the world surrounding us and within us accurately describes what actually exists. We get close enough to the mark to survive, most of the time.  But, not always. That's when we meet an untimely demise or misfortune.

6 Ways to Screw Up Your Life

Want to screw up your life?  Do you wonder why your life is screwed up? Here are six things you can choose that will make life difficult, if not worse. Don’t worry, though, there is still hope after screwing it all up.  I’ll post my thoughts on this, but, don’t wait for what I have to say about it. No life is irredeemable* until it’s lost.

 

1. Harbor Resentments. In fact, never forgive anyone for any slight, real or imagined.
Stretch Goal: Simultaneously consider yourself entitled to be forgiven of every offense you’ve committed without needing to stoop
to apologizing or even acknowledging your responsibility. Harbor resentment against anyone who doesn’t forgive you.

2. Burn every bridge behind you: former employers, former colleagues, childhood friends, teachers, past love interests, the IRS.
If you see a bridge, burn it. For added effect, be sure to light some aflame in the most visibly spectacular manner. Consider capturing it on your snmartphone and uploading it to YouTube.

3. While you’re at it, make a point of alienating yourself from the people in your life who care about you the most. Don’t return your mother’s phone calls. Spread malicious rumors about your sister. Tell your young adult daughter that if she doesn’t lose weight she’ll never find someone to marry her. Ditch your closest friends for the barflies at the corner dive.

4. Convince yourself that you are unique and that no one could possibly understand you. Commit to focussing on the differences.

5. Earn a conviction for a violent, or otherwise repugnant felony. Be an overachiever and find your way to having your mugshot featured on a Meagan’s Law website as part of the national sex offender registry’s public database. Once there, be sure not to update local law enforcement with any address changes so that your listing is highlighted in red as ‘in violation’.

6. Frivolously waste opportunities given to you. For example, spend your parent financed college education studying the effects of hallucinogens using yourself as test subject. Write your term papers in alternating fonts and text colors. Or, just handwrite your papers in crayon. Drop out the first semester of your Junior year because the institution is limiting your creative expression.

(to be continued …)

*irredeemable: not able to be saved, helped, or made better

Walking the Plank

2013-05-14 14.52.08
Rights owned by despair.com. Clicking on this image will take you there.

Today, is my birthday.

 

I am not celebrating.

This may be the single most painful time of transition I’ve experienced to date. I can’t be certain because I haven’t allowed myself to experience what I’m feeling because I can’t afford the risk of becoming immobilized while trying to see myself out of my current circumstances.

Coupled with the post-surgery weakness, the enormity of pain, stress and emotion associated with the totality of what has happened in this past six weeks, alone, would probably cripple me.

That would have a catastrophic outcome.

So, I will spend today, a birthday, sorting and packing and disposing what remains of my stuff as I prepare for this thrust into a change I am really not ready for because I can’t safely process the experiences leading to it, yet. Not yet.

I have lived in this place my entire adult life. Next week, I’m leaving for a place unknown and without any guarantee of my being able to live there successfully.

Not happily. Just at all. I don’t know if I am going to be able to start over, again, rebuilding a life I must leave behind. And, I must leave almost everything behind. People. Things. Possibilities. Memories. Habits. Comforts. Everything I know.

But, I must stuff down my thoughts, fear, anger, grief, worry, despair, shame and force them to remain silent until I’m at liberty to fall apart. Because, there is no confusion about what I can expect once I begin processing all of this. I can only pray for God’s mercy.

This is where life finds me on this birthday.

To One of My Narcissist Friends

I am struggling with the outcome of today. For several days I have been paying special attention to the dialogue we have because I wanted to be certain if I had  or had not  mis-perceived the pattern I recognize developing. It is a pattern I have seen before, but I still needed to allow for the possibility that my perception was distorted.

Over the course of the last few days, I’ve adopted a neutral distance allowing me to observe without my emotions compromising my interpretations.

This is what I see:

1. A concerted effort on your part to hold me accountable to any amount of fault or error, to the extent of attempting to include things that have contrived fault and even inferring my responsibility for errors that originated from your actions or omissions.

2. This is coupled with the overt absence of my being credited for any significant success as well as statements that minimize the value of my contributions and efforts.

3. I notice also that a relationship exists between these statements and similar comments and the subject of my earning or being owed money.

4. I have also come to realize that you will offer or promise things and then back pedal when actually called to follow through. This has taken the form of simply not mentioning it again (thinking maybe I won’t remember?) to manufacturing a justification that involves some failing on my part. And, of course, the common place use of passive aggressive manipulation utilizing guilt or pity as a defense. I am pretty sure I saw you divert a conversation using hostility at least once.

When it comes together with the generally poor habits you have of making inconsiderate demands of my time, an inappropriate and compulsive need to argue with anything that questions or counters what you think is true (that is, when, if ever, you take enough time to listen to an entire sentence before cutting me off with the assumption you know what I was going to say–and rarely is that correct), I am struggling to come up with any defensible reason this is a beneficial investment of my time and resources.

I am as of now feeling very wary of our friendship.
I certainly do not feel respected and my value seems to have been commoditized. As if it should be offered as a bargain to the marketplace.

And weaving throughout is this stinky vine of resentment and repressed powerlessness that makes for some creepy moments I could probably do without.

Like, for the remainder of my life.

**I know, I often seem passive because I reserve my words. This is what is going on in my thoughts and, eventually, should it be necessary, I’ll share these thoughts and many, many more. You can believe that.**

The Purple Pill

ADVISORY: This post includes the frequent use of language that may be offensive. I typically keep the language PG or somewhat tame, but this post is as an exception. I will use tags to indicate posts that include nsfw language.

I don’t remember where this comment was found among the multitude of blogs but the drivel it imbues is representative of a world view that not in some small way projects an inexact interpretation of reality. Perspectives like this one require that one believes in the absolute inferiority of females as contributors to the creation and maintenance of civilization and its societies, the inability or inclination to think and behave rationally and a propensity toward deceit and dishonor. Sadly, evidence of these and similar beliefs is abundant:

Our social edifice is made by and maintained by men, to serve *women’s* long-term interests. It sacrifices male *comfort*, men’s lives, for female comfort and survival.
The pay off is expanded male reproductive *duty* and, critically, unambiguous lineage.

This suggests that men reproduce solely because they are dutibound and not biologically driven to impregnate as many viable females as possible to ensure survival of their genetic material into the future. That, if left to their own devices, men would prefer to shoot blanks when they have sex and die off as a species all together if the pay out was NSA sex.
In this vision of reality, men, perhaps as a function of their superior nature among all carbon based life forms, have transcended what biological imperatives and trappings other living creatures remain subject. Instead, this one half of the human species, alone among the inhabitants of earth, have complete self-agency, divorced from their organic composition that gives them the power to decide and the will to act based entirely on their independent powers of reason and impartial judgment that is untainted by the influence of biological process or design.

Does this not sound just a little too stupid to be correct? Is anyone else noticing the gaping absense of rationality that this world view requires in order to believe its’ precepts? It argues against itself.

Where i come from, we call that crazy.

It doesn’t help that it causes some women to laugh at these men, further widening the gap between them. Though, to be honest, that gap is probably nature’s way of selecting against sane women mating with irrational men.

Guys that think and behave according to these beliefs do not produce offspring with rational women of normal or more intelligence.

They mate with women that conform to their vision of reality. This would include women with pronounced personality disorders, stunted cognitive development and insight, delayed or diminished control response, and those with character flaws similar to those associated with substance disorder and antisocial disorder.

Epigenetics to the fucking rescue, I say.

***Lineage^^^

As far as lineage goes, men are concerned about it, women not so much. Women know without any uncertainty whether or not the child they give birth to is their biological offspring (and the distinction needs to be made, now, since, technically, women can bear children that are not genetically “theirs”, i.e. surrogates).

Men do not know without uncertainty that they fathered a child born to a woman. Thus, they have created varying means of acquiring that certainty over the ages-some preventative (such as chastity belt like devices), some post-event such as DNA testing.

Prior to this, the world over could be overheard arguments based on logic such as ‘well no one on MY side of the family ever had ears that big.” and “ask any one and they’ll tell you that this kid doesn’t look anything like his father but is a spitting image of the guy who cleans their pool. Seriously. You need to check that out.” And, “I know I’m not that baby’s father because it don’t look nothing like me and I know that whore’s been sleeping around.”

You don’t often come across people saying “oh my god do you see this baby she just delivered? There’s no way that she’s the mother of this baby.” or “I have some serious doubts about this baby I’m carrying. I’m really worried that after I give birth, I’ll find out it isn’t even mine.’
Never happens.

But, according to theories of evolution, the name of the game in life is genetic survival. Motivation to ensure that one’s genetic material survives into future generations inspires everything alive to sexually reproduce. People do this traditionally by coupling up into male/female pairs and copulating. By hook or by crook, it doesn’t matter.

In the rest of the animal kingdom, males deal with the lineage problem by doing things like eating or killing the offspring of his potential mate that he did not sire (a real turn on that would be for any female, right? Kind of a mood killer, no?)

Some creative critters go about dealing with any insecurity about their paternity preemptively by leaving their penis inside the female to serve as a sort of plug to bar entry by the next guy that might come along and try to inseminate the female. I guess this is a situation where speed matters: the sperm that can cross the finish line the fastest, wins. Eliminate any competing swimmers, and, well, there you have it. A fixed race.

Then there are animals that bear litters of offspring that can have multiple fathers. Your dog, Lucy, conceivably, can have a litter of puppies that include any mix of breed physically capable of mating with her. So, if Lucy is Great Dane, there is little worry to have that one of her puppies will be part Chihahau. Not without some accomodations made on his part, anyway.

This is also a good reason to think it through before choosing one of those sample sized cross breeds if it’s a female.
Anything could happen when ‘Who let the dogs out?”

Using another, less erudite example, this comment was lifted from the same thread as the first, which was on the topic of women and to some extent what they really want from a man:

“As long as they get drama, the occasional shiny bauble and muh dik”

Well, there you have it.
***Drives^^^^^

Women’s ‘long term interests’ are really no different than men’s. At least for those men that successfully impregnate women. Her long term interests are to ensure the survival of her offspring and ensure her own survival to reproduce and even perhaps to ensure the survival of her offsprings’ offspring.

Comfort is a nice bonus, but hardly necessary. Hate to be the one to tell you this, but there is inherently NOTHING comfortable about the entire reproductive process for women.

Beginning with menarche, the actual bleeding, cramping business, sore breasts, headaches, hormonally driven crazy making, potential for death during childbirth, the sex act, itself, pregnancy (try shoving a bowling ball deep in your gut somewhere between your stomach and your intestines, carry it around for the better part of a year then force it out an opening the size of a quarter, then talk to me about comfort, k?), breast feeding, or menopause.

Not one damn thing. And, not excepting even the embryonic development of a female’s life, she bears the uncomfortable consequences of being a female every minute of every day of her existence. In today’s world, this includes any potential existence, as technology has allowed for the detection of biological sex for the purpose of terminating a pregnancy of an undesirable gender.

In the most populated and impoverished areas of the world, male offspring are exclusively most desired. Female infanticide is also problematic in those parts of the world that favor sons, making the ability to abort female embryos a very real concern, as it is hidden from external awareness and has the potential to create imbalance to the ratio of men to women.

When a population has more men than it has women, there are potential societal and global consequences that are significant and alarming.

So, do excuse me, a female, for seeming as if I am seeking some external source of comfort to compensate for what a pain in the ass it is to be female.

It is not, however, innate to female human beings to require comfort as a condition of reproduction. There is a population of men that apparently have absolutely no awareness of a woman’s capacity to endure and tenacity to ensure her children survive.

If men are attracting into relationships women that behave like children and make material demands to satisfy their entitlement needs, that reflects on their patterns of choosing women inappropriately equipped for long term successful relationships that include parenting children.

Men who marry and have children with women ill-equipped reap what they sow, as it were. If the woman you are considering good enough to bear your children has clearly indicated she is a crazy, untrustworthy, self absorbed bitch you really have to ask yourself if it is any surprise that 10 years later this same woman has raped you of everything you have worked so hard to earn, dumped you for a guy that makes more money and destroyed your relationship with the child(ren) you created with her.

That’s what fucked up people do. Men and women.

The lesson is not that all women will do this therefore beware of women. The lesson is to recognize why you accept inappropriate behavior and take risks in relationships with women that are fucked up for whatever reason.
Figure out how to be attracted to another type of woman. You may not want to believe all women are not wired the same way thereby making you accountable for making a poor choice, but what you believe is true doesn’t change reality. Just your ability to perceive it accurately and live effectively as a result. Just saying.

And, doesn’t the grass always seem greener on the other side? Because, as a female, if I were a cynical, ignorant femnazi type, I might look at the life of males and think it’s pretty cushy and convenient.

No fuss, no muss.

If I’m a big enough guy or can fake my way through the day, all I need to do, really, is wake up, get some food and water in me, avoid being killed by anything (including my own stupidity), find as many females that are either willing to let me fcuk them or that i can overpower and fcuk by force without serious repercussion, and then go to sleep.

How hard is that? I have no need to worry about anyone but my goddamn self. If I fcuk often enough, chances are I’m going to successfully pass on my genetic material, so my work is done. Life is fucking good.

And if I were a female viewing men from that perspective I might be prone to resent men giving me grief about any goddamn thing at all about how inconvenient it is for them to show any effort whatsoever in their life while demanding that I do more.

Yes, I suppose that could be the start of some considerable man hate. but, fortunately, thank God, most women realize (are sappy enough) that this can’t really be the way it is.

We must not be understanding something. So, we are perpetually confused for the greater good.

To be continued ….

Words on Truth, Hope & Despair

[The] truth is incontrovertible. Panic may resent it, ignorance may deride it, malice may distort it, but there it is.
 Winston Churchill
Speech in the House of Commons, May 17, 1916 “Royal Assent”.

“Take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented.”
Elie Wiesel
“If you have men who will exclude any of God’s creatures from the shelter of compassion and pity, you will have men who will deal likewise with their fellow men.”
St. Francis of Assisi

“Washing one’s hands of the conflict between the powerful and the powerless means to side with the powerful, not to be neutral.”
Paulo Freire

“For manipulation to be most effective, evidence of its presence should be nonexistent… It is essential, therefore, that people who are manipulated believe in the neutrality of their key social institutions.”
Herbert Schiller

“If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor. If an elephant has its foot on the tail of a mouse and you say that you are neutral, the mouse will not appreciate your neutrality.”
Bishop Desmond Tutu

“People who demand neutrality in any situation are usually not neutral but in favor of bthe status quo”
Max Eastman

“Neutral men are the devil’s allies.”
 Edwin Hubbel Chapin quotes (American Clergyman, Author, Speaker, Writer and Pastor, 1814-1880)

“I can promise to be sincere, but not to be impartial”
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe quotes (German Playwright, Poet, Novelist and Dramatist. 1749-1832)

“He who experiences the unity of life sees his own Self in all beings, and all beings in his own Self, and looks on everything with an impartial eye.”
Buddha

“IMPARTIAL, adj. Unable to perceive any promise of personal advantage from espousing either side of a controversy or adopting either of two conflicting opinions.”
Ambrose Bierce

Scriptural Verse

2 Corinthians 4:8-9 ESV
We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed
Psalm 138:7 ESV
Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you preserve my life; you stretch out your hand against the wrath of my enemies, and your right hand delivers me.

1 Corinthians 3:16-17 ESV
Do you not know that you are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in you? If anyone destroys God’s temple, God will destroy him. For God’s temple is holy, and you are that temple.

Ecclesiastes 7:17 ESV 
Be not overly wicked, neither be a fool. Why should you die before your time?

Psalm 34:17-20 ESV
When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all. He keeps all his bones; not one of them is broken.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 ESV
Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

Jeremiah 29:11 ESV
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

1 Corinthians 6:20 ESV 
For you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

2 Corinthians 12:9 ESV
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

Psalm 13:2-4 ESV
How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day? How long shall my enemy be exalted over me? Consider and answer me, O Lord my God; light up my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death, lest my enemy say, “I have prevailed over him,” lest my foes rejoice because I am shaken.

Romans 10:13 ESV 
For “everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”

John 12:25 ESV
Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life.

1 Corinthians 3:17 ESV
If anyone destroys God’s temple, God will destroy him. For God’s temple is holy, and you are that temple.

Psalm 147:3 ESV 
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

Deuteronomy 30:19 ESV 
I call heaven and earth to witness against you today, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and curse. Therefore choose life, that you and your offspring may live,

John 10:28 ESV
I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand.

1 John 3:15 ESV
Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him.

Hebrews 13:5-6 ESV
Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” So we can confidently say, “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?”

Hebrews 10:35-36 ESV
Therefore do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward. For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised.

Romans 5:2-8 ESV
Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly.

Psalm 138:7 ESV
Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you preserve my life; you stretch out your hand against the wrath of my enemies, and your right hand delivers me.

Matthew 6:34 ESV
Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

1 Peter 5:6-7 ESV
Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.

Romans 12:2 ESV
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

Revelation 9:6 ESV
And in those days people will seek death and will not find it. They will long to die, but death will flee from them.

John 10:10 ESV 
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.

Romans 8:38-39 ESV
For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Emotion is Not Crazy

So often I read comments or hear people state an opinion that suggests that responding to life’s circumstance and events in what they describe as an “emotional response” or “reacting emotionally” is an indication of a person that is of lesser intelligence or at the very least, not accepted as appropriate from what they would expect of a person with average or above average intelligence.

Let’s get something straight. One of the distinguishing features in what has evolved as the species homo sapien is the capacity to experience and express a complex body of emotion. In fact, emotion is so integral to that which sets human beings apart from other animals, it would be consistent to define humans as “emotional animals”.

For those among us that worship at the altar of reason and all that is rational in thought and deed, allow me to put you on notice that every instance of thought is married to an emotional component and vice versa. Emotion and thought are the Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum of the human brain’s cognitive landscape.

Our perceived experiences and subsequent responses to the stimuli received throughout our waking moments are a marriage dance between partners of emotion and conscious thought. One does not engage in rational thought independent of input and observation by the irrational part of the mind. It is a symbiotic relationship. Trying to divorce one’s self through characterizing thoughts and behaviors as either emotional or rational/reasonable is absurd.

If you can think it, you have felt it. If you feel an emotion, you have experienced a thought process associated with it, regardless of your being consciously aware of that enough to recognize the nature of what it entailed.

So, get off that high horse that condemns emotion as somehow inferior to what you consider rational and reasonable. It isn’t. It is an intrinsic component of a functional human brain. Deny your emotional nature, and you deny a core element of being human.

You *are* human, right? Are you really suggesting that it is better to transcend being human? Transcend to what? Is there some other life form that has evolved thus far to which it would be preferable to aspire? What unique combination or configuration of your genetic inheritance has outgrown the rest of humankind?

Nope. You’re a person, just like me and just like all the others that look just like us, for the most part, and act and react and think and feel and stumble and doubt and scramble for meaning and look for reasons to live and one day, up and die.

So, grab that big human brain of yours with both hands, take a generous step back and behold.

Gone Nuclear

WARNING: This post is an explosion of emotive opinion and expletives. If the expression of raw anger is upsetting to you or you have repressed your upset by concealing it with preconceived beliefs about people who express strong emotion, caution is advised.
—————–

What the fuck am I doing, now?
I’ll tell ya.
I’m leaning back against the side of my dark, cold van drowning out what’$ out there with Metallica (The Day That Never Comes) but, the sunshine never comes, no the sunshine never come.
Word, that.

Other word I hear is that my telling through writing is so visceral, it is perceived too outrageous to be real. My experience as I describe it in writing suggests I might be “delusional” –was the adjective used–the tirades of someone paranoid and irrational. In short–a whack job.
I find it curious that, again, the style and subject of my writing leads some –not all or most just sone– people to be certain about what they perceive as my having a disturbed mind. There is for reasons I could not know because I can’t be anyone else something about the intensity and forcefulness of either conveyed emotion or impressions created in detail that push others over the edge when they read my stuff.

So, I have some thoughts in response.

That will now and always need to stay their problem because not only do I not give a fuck that the manner of writing I use to describe my thoughts bothers people, there isn’t fucking much I can really fucking do about that, unless somehow I could radically change how I process my experience cognitively, never mind it is what I’ve been doing for the entire 47 forsaken years of my fucking  life.
And I’m not dumbing it down for you, either.  Why not just try asking for clarification or maybe give your mind a stretch and consider the possibility that just because you believe it doesn’t make it true and what you feel, princess–that ain’t fact.

Fucking amazing but true.

So, hey the fuck what?
i have a message to you, the one who does this:

If you are upset or worse, concerned after reading anything I write do us both the favor of not putting us both through your fucking presumptuous trauma.
Because in my interpretation of what is actually got ng on, is that you got a tfuck load of projection streaming my direction. So stop projecting your fucked up movies on my writing or me.

Get a fucking therapist and exorcise what demons you have and fuck you very much for being a self involved arrogant fuckfard. You are welcome to hate what I write, what I write about and the one writing, but reserve your armchair analysis of my psychological integrity for yourself.

Straight up. Just WHO the fuck do you think you are to dump your frame of mind on anyone else? When was it announced that what you find concerning, distressing, disturbing, or every other  psychic pain you perceive as the universal fucking standard of mental health, reality or veracity and authenticity of another person’s expression of thought?
Yeah. That’s what I thought.
Go fuck yourself and your pompous assumptions about what YOU JUST CAN’T HANDLE.
Hate your own failings not the mirror that reflects back what you CAN’T UNDERSTAND. That, my friend, is what is called a limitation–YOUR limitation.
Try working on the that instead and you might actually evolve as a person.
Good luck and go read something within your range of ability that doesn’t upset you too much.

I will NEVER so much as humor any one who comes at me with that fucked up bullshit. What I have for that arrogant mindset is one thing only: absolute contempt.

How do you like me *now*? Intense enough for you?
I hope and I mean I really, really hope,  my intended amplification of emotion  hemorrhaged all the bloody way through  for your personal edification. That’s right.

Just for fucking you.

God fucking help us all.

————–

There. You see?
A genuine expression of anger and no one died. In fact, maybe less people would be dying if we, as a society, could honor what we feel by giving it voice and then letting it pass like the weather it is instead of being terrified to be associated with an essential part of what we are. Because that is what anger become fury. That is what makes sadness despair.

It is possible to experience every emotion and recognize it for what it is: changing winds on the mindscape that are only as important as they are indicators of our overall climate.

All that Intense shit just gets shaken off like bugs in your hair.

Voila. Magic. No restraints required.

Fred Flintstone& the Golden Rule

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“Never impose on others what you would not choose for yourself.” -Confucius (c.500 BC)

“Do to others what you want them to do to you. This is the meaning of the law of Moses and the teaching of the prophets” (Matthew 7:12 NCV, see also Luke 6:31). c. 4 BC to 27 AD

“There is nothing dearer to man than himself; therefore, as it is the same thing that is dear to you and to others, hurt not others with what pains yourself” (Dhammapada, Northern Canon, 5:18). c. 563-483 BC   Buddha

“Love your neighbor as yourself” (Leviticus 19:18) c. 1450 BC to 450 BC

“One who regards all creatures as his own self, and behaves towards them as towards his own self attains happiness. One should never do to another what one regards as hurtful to one’s own self. This, in brief, is the rule of righteousness. In happiness and misery, in the agreeable and the disagreeable, one should judge effects as if they came to one’s own self.” (Mahabharata bk. 13: Anusasana Parva, §113) c. 400 BC

“Universal love is to regard another’s state as one’s own. A person of universal love will take care of his friend as he does of himself, and take care of his friend’s parents as his own. So when he finds his friend hungry he will feed him, and when he finds him cold he will clothe him.” (Book of Mozi, ch. 4) c. 479-438 BC   Mo Tzu

Fred Flintstone helps a stranger who was robbed and left to die. He says “I’d want him to help me.” 1,000,000 BC